The Art of Release: Letting Go of Jealousy and Comparison
I’m 42 and haven’t been married yet. I live in a small apartment. I’m not a multi-millionaire. I’m not a globally-recognized expert in a respected field.
These are the thoughts that sit on my soul when I see a friend announce an engagement on Facebook. When I see a high school acquaintance post photos of her new 4-bedroom mountain house. When I see an entrepreneur post about her #yachtlife. When I hear Brene Brown speak.
Jealously and comparison are two of the emotions I struggle with the most. It’s not because I don’t want everyone I know (and everyone I don’t know) to have all of these blessings and experiences. I just want them too.
I’ve been sitting with these feelings and really leaning into a new mindshift. I do well with visualizations. Even though I know it’s not true, for years I pictured life like a pie. If one person’s piece is bigger, someone else’s piece is smaller. Or at least looks smaller in comparison. But the reality is, the pie isn’t a set size at all. Success begets success and when one person’s success is reached, the universal elevation rises and the entire pie just gets bigger for everybody. Also, I love pie. Apple followed by peach followed by banana cream.
Then I heard someone say something that just felt so right: “Good for you. I’d love that too!” So simple, but it just felt good on my tongue. I don’t NOT want others to have it all, but I had a hard time being simultaneously excited for them and recognizing that I didn’t have those things or life experiences yet.
So now when I see people (friends and strangers) achieving dreams and acquiring things or experiences in their life that I would like, I first say: “More is more! Good for you, I’d love that, too.” I celebrate them and thank the universe for the unlimited abundance that is available to all of us. I then remind myself of the dreams I’m currently living that were once wishes, goals and visions. I remind myself that someone, somewhere, is looking at my life and wanting some of the things I have. And I know I have a LOT. This isn’t to say I don’t have an incredible life. I do. I’m just leading this blog post with some personal examples to point out my insecurities (which is super fun to do in a public format – not terrifying at all).
Do you ever experience jealousy or comparison? (Entire universe slowly raises hands). This mantra has worked for me – maybe it will work for you, too.
And wherever you are right now and whatever you’re doing, I’m really proud to be part of this big “pie” of life together with you. Every time I see or hear of your successes, know that I’m truly excited for you (and maybe I’d love that, too!).