But Seriously, What Are We Waiting For?
If you’re reading this blog (first of all, thank you), you probably know me. Many of my readers are friends or coworkers (which also means they’re a friend because my coworkers are the best humans ever) or relatives. What started as a blog to share experience-led, uplifting advice to my “younger self” is still that, a blog that I love so much and hold so dearly. I appreciate you for reading 2 years later and sharing in some really amazing highs and being there during some of my most vulnerable moments. If you only knew how many nights I shared something really honest, then laid in bed wondering if I should delete it. I feel like I’m constantly finding this balance between wanting to share and wanting to keep my truth, insecurities and regrets to myself. Blogging is easily one of the best things I’ve ever started doing. Thanks for being along for the journey.
A New Year makes me all gooey and warm. I love new beginnings and celebrating the life we’ve lived and the future ahead. As we enter a new decade, I’ve really been reflecting on this past decade and it’s pretty wild. If you told 33-year-old me that I’d be living in NYC and surrounded by the most incredible people every day, I would have fallen over. Back then, I was living in Jacksonville Florida and wanting to write a new story, but I was so broke and I didn’t know where to start. Then I met at man at Starbucks and we fell in love. We moved to San Diego, which took me to my current job and that eventually moved me to New York City. That man is and always will be one of the most important people in my life and we’re still friends to this day. The past decade took me around the world - New Zealand, South Africa, Thailand, Cambodia, Europe, South America, Mexico (like 12 times because ya’ll know I love tequila and tacos). The past decade brought me my first dog, Lola. She’s still living her best life in California. It also brought me my life coach who genuinely shifted the entire course of my life. The past decade brought more heartbreak and loss than I had ever experienced. I’m grateful beyond measure for all of it.
Like I said, it’s hard to admit my soft spots and insecurities. But I also believe that sharing them not only turns the light on in the room and takes away the darkness, but I also know I’m never alone in my thoughts and feelings and that my truth in sharing is helping someone, somewhere who's feeling the same way.
For better or worse, I do a lot of self examination and I’ve gotten really curious about life. During one of these introspective moments recently, I realized something I hadn’t really seen in myself before. It was this: there are things in my life I want - get a dog, take cooking classes and go on a trip to Santorini for example - and somewhere along the way, I decided I needed to wait for those things. I needed to wait for a dog until I’m in a relationship. I told myself the story that having dog in NYC would make dating hard because I couldn’t be spontaneous and free-wheeling. I told myself I needed to wait to take cooking classes until I had a bigger kitchen. I thought I needed to wait to go to Santorini until I had a boyfriend to go with. Those are just a few examples. I realized I have a list of things I want that I’m putting on hold for some future moment. What the actual heck, you guys? I’m not saying this makes sense; I’m just honestly sharing. I know I’m not alone. A lot of us have things we want to do or have, but we feel like we don’t “get” to have them or do them until a certain point in life. So I have to get curious here - why are we waiting?
The dog has been the biggest one for me. I told myself that having a dog should wait until I’m in a relationship, because a dog would make it hard to be spontaneous and carefree. But let’s be honest…I’m not exactly dancing at raves in Brooklyn warehouses until 4 am or jetting off to the BVI with an hour’s notice. And if a man doesn’t want to date me because I have a dog, then he’s just not my guy. Ultimately I had to get real with myself and realize I was holding off on something I REALLY wanted and I’m not okay living like that. So I got the dog. She’s one of these little precious babies and comes home March 20th. I’m naming her Willow.
I’m going to tell you what you already know: this isn’t about a dog.
No matter where you are in life - single, married, small town, big city, young, broke, just starting out, ready to run away and start over - if there’s something you want in your life, but you know you’re waiting for some future “moment” in order to do it or to get it, then consider this your hand-delivered invitation to just go get it. There’s nothing you can’t do now and do again later. We’ll call that the “now and later” bucket. Maybe we put Santorini that bucket instead? I can go to Santorini now with friends and go again with my boyfriend. Life isn’t that binary. It’s not “all this OR all that.” It’s usually a mix and a flow and a whirly, twirly mess of love and feelings and actions that make up your life. Know what I mean?
So I’m declaring right here, right now that 2020 is the year I stop waiting. If I want something and it feels right to me, I’m going to do it or get it or try it. And I invite you to do the same.
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